This will be a short post. These are simply some thoughts I have on the saying ‘choose your battles wisely’, because I seem to think it’s basically the story of my life.

it’s really not worth it

I think there are definitely arguments that should be had, especially in familial settings, because let’s be honest, boundaries are crossed. Often.

But then again, at the same time, if I were to explain my mindset before I engage in any sort of negative conflict, I would say that I definitely think two or three times before deciding to… burst (?) It’s because I’m more of a mediator than a confrontational person, and whilst people might think that it seems as though I am piling up my feelings inside, I think I would choose being this way every time.

I am the type of person who repeats negative thoughts in my head – negative things that I’ve heard someone say to me, or even to other people. To be frank, I just don’t like being around people who talk this way, and I hate arguments with passion, but I’m not ignorant of the fact that it is a necessary evil (perhaps an exaggeration, but please let it slide) for people to function in society and daily life.

However, like the saying, an argument is really like a battle. It consumes you mentally and physically, and also creates collateral damage, a.k.a. people like me who hate arguments witnessing them and feeling disturbed. And damage is guaranteed. So in this situation, I can’t help but think, is this really worth it?

you will keep losing

Arguing, creating and continuing conflict isn’t just a situation for me. It’s really a personality trait. And that’s because, in every battle, I find that there is always a point where everyone is wasting their time engaging in this.

To be honest, people who are okay with other people consistently disagreeing with them and letting it be have more respect from me. They can understand that they are simply wasting their breath explaining their point of view, and so can stop the situation from escalating. This is regardless of whether I think they’re right or wrong.

Another issue I have with argumentative and conflict-escalating people and my perspective on why I choose to stay away from being that way, is because I know that once you start gaining a reputation as this type of person, you will lose your future battles before you even finish your point. Again, it just becomes a personality trait; you’re just someone that is never happy, or content and you’ll fuss over anything.

to conclude…

I am not against arguments! I hope that this post didn’t make it seem as though I demonise conflict and arguing and portray myself as a pushover who swallows everything negative someone says to me. I assure you that I do argue.

But as I’ve grown older, I’ve realised that peace is not given to you in life and is really something you have to create for yourself. And anyone else who has gotten older will also know the feeling of constantly being tired mentally from daily life. So do we really need to add shouting on top of all of this?!

I think that being able to ‘choose your battles’ is actually a skill that you could put under relationship-building. My experience firsthand has informed me that it’s clearly not a natural instinct…

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I hope you enjoyed this post! It was a little different from what I’ve done so far because this was a little more opinionated, but I hope you enjoyed it nonetheless 🙂

Til next time.

☽ 𝕡 ♡